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Kyle Beckerman's Engagement Photos Are Dread-Ful

By Kenzie Bryant

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

  • Wait. Nope. It's the vest.
  • We, as a fashion and style site that just discovered that soccer happens sometimes, are admittedly late on this "news." But when we fall for a crunchy, dreaded athlete, we fall hard.
  • So these engagement photos are even more uncomfortably sentimental that all 52 engagement photos currently stuck on our fridge combined. Who knows how he does it? Probably with the canoe. Or the hat.
  • It's definitely the hat.
  • Wait. Nope. It's the vest.
  • Now you see him reclining on the pitch, lightly caressing his dreads.
  • Now he's in the goal, inexplicably raising his arms above his head and softly whispering to his betrothed "shhh, goal. Gooooooal."
  • Giving up now. That's adorable.


Bad news: Kyle Beckerman, a.k.a. the only US Soccer player you know by name, probably, is married. Worse news: His engagement photos will test all the affection you ever had for him.

Final note: If you want a Kyle Beckerman-engagement-shoot themed engagement shoot, Free People can help you out. No joke.
· Free People Selling Clip-In Dreads Because Everything Is Awful [Racked]
· Cristiano Ronaldo Was Once a Pale, Awkward Boy [Racked]

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