Jessica Simpson Gave All 14 Bridesmaids the 'Ethereal Look'

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In case you missed People the other day, Jessica Simpson, the former songstress, reality TV star, and cultural symbol for "blonde," was married. The wedding went down in Montecito, California on July 5, but thanks to this bridesmaid video People released, it's apparent the wedding had some serious Southern vibes. Check out the video above, where you'll find these notable events/attributes of the party:

·Sparkly, rhinestone-heavy gowns that are all unique.

· Ethereal hair. Gigantic hair.

· It's a "production" or a "fashion show," not a wedding.

· Oh my sweet lawd, there are 14 bridesmaids. Don't know why we didn't notice this first. 14!

· A shade of green that only CaCee Cobb, inspiration and wife of Donald Faison, could wear. CaCee. Not Kacy or Cacy or Kacey.

· Jessica Simpson had that form of manic eyes that one contracts close to one's wedding date. There's very little blinking involved and a taste of sanpaku.

· Here's Jessica Simpson's Wedding Dress If You Care [Racked]
· Jessica Simpson Leg Strikes Again [Racked]