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Award show red carpets, likely 12 miles long, are a long, hard road of waxed humans baring dead eyes and white bones, also known as teeth. The People's Choice Awards is the first, a mere warm up. Ellen Degeneres knows what's coming, perhaps better than anyone. She kneels on the carpet, defeated before it even starts. Or she's just bowing down to wife Portia de Rossi's undeniable hotness. Tomato, tom-ah-to.