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Every year, celebrities, musicians, and a running tally of the world's most attractive people come together to put on the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and every year, it is absolutely batshit insane.
Not only an ode to bras, breasts, and whatever pop songs are currently sitting at numbers one through five on the charts, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is also a time for arbitrarily placed pom-poms, fur hoodies worn with basically nothing else, and diamond-encrusted bras that cost $2 million. It is emphatically not in any way related to the casual mall shopping experience so identified with Victoria's Secret, which is why just like last year, we're ranking the show's most bizarre looks, in order of how well non-Victoria's Secret Fashion Show models could pull them off.
26. Gigi Hadid had the honor of modeling this year's sole pair of pants, making this the most wearable of the bunch.
25. Depending on the party, this could maaaaybe pass as a Sexy Cowgirl costume on Halloween. As long as you're not using public transportation to get there.
24. This outfit can't decide whether it's a butterfly or some kind of feathery insect, but at least it's long enough to pass as a skirt.
23. You kind of don't really need an excuse to wear the $2 million Fantasy Bra. Plus, who's going to reject you from entering a building when you're wearing this? Literally TRY and find a fancier outfit. You can't. Totally wearable.
22. If this superhero had a power, it'd be creating quaint Victorian tablescapes.
21. One could totally wear this during the second half of a Bikram yoga class, no?
20. This outfit's just a great way to let everyone know you came to party.
19. Warning: Only wear this if you do not own cats, as they will inevitably try to murder you.
18. Not sure what the fuschia thigh-high boots and the rather austere black-and-white robe have to do with one another, but separately, quite wearable!
17. Using the feathery robe as a blanket in which to swaddle oneself while marathoning 30 Rock in seems like a great way to repurpose this look.
16. If anyone questions you while wearing it, just respond, "DON'T YOU LOVE AMERICA?!"
15. And if anyone questions you while wearing this, just scoff and say, "Um, duh, the '70s are back."
14. No less wearable than anything else at Burning Man.
13. Couples costume idea: Sexy Thor and Sexy Thor.
12. On to the parade of "snow angel" looks: As the most modest of the bunch, it's also the most wearable.
11. Add tights, and it's 100% figure skate-able!
10. Add snowpants, and ditto for snowboarding!
9. The animal whose fur was turned into the boots is definitely not the same animal whose hair was turned into the headdress.
8. Wearable as long as you don't plan to walk through a single doorway. Which is to say, not wearable at all.
7. Beware of arm swallowage in those giant feathers.
6. And beware of getting stabbed with spikes here.
5. NEVER MIND THESE ARE WAY MORE TERRIFYING.
4. UM, ARE THOSE LITERAL STICKS OF DYNAMITE?
3. Half of this costume is Spring Breakers, the other half is Drita D'Avanzo from Mob Wives. The resulting effect is more terrifying than giant spikes and dynamite combined.
2. OH GOD PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS MEAN BOOTY SHORTS ARE COMING BACK.
1. And last but not least, this year's inevitable transparent leotard accessorized with arbitrarily placed giant pom-poms! Wearable just once a year, and only if you've been cast in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.