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Let us put aside the pain and heartbreak of celebrity breakups for a moment, and instead consider simple logistics. If something — a person, an animal, an abstract concept — is declared dead, it must somehow resurrect itself before dying again. This theorem, however, does not seem to apply in the world of tabloid journalism.
For what it's worth, it is disillusioning when celebrity relationships reveal themselves to be not so different from normal-person relationships, which ebb and flow. It's easier to give up on love entirely than to consider that maybe love just has a little bit of a cold at the moment! Regardless, here are all the times that the internet, a bastion of hyperbole, declared love dead:
Love Is Dead: Lana Del Rey and Italian Boyfriend Francesco Carrozzini Call It Quits
Love Is Dead: One Direction's Liam Payne and Girlfriend Sophia Smith Reportedly Break Up
Gigi Hadid And Joe Jonas Have Split Up Because Love Is Dead
Gigi Hadid And Joe Jonas Reportedly Broke Up, And Love Is Now Dead
Love Is Dead: Gigi Hadid and Joe Jonas Split After Five Months of Dating
True Love is Dead: Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Are Getting Divorced
Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Divorcing, Love Is Dead
Love is super dead: Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman divorce after 42 years together
Love is Dead: Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert Are Getting Divorced
Love Is Dead Part 784: Blake Shelton & Miranda Lambert Are Getting Divorced
Love Is Dead: Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton Are Splitting Up
Love and Comedy Are Both Dead: Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll Have Broken Up
Nick Kroll And Amy Poehler Split, Love Is Dead, And My Hatred For Summer Grows
Amy Poehler And Nick Kroll Have Broken Up, Love Is Dead Yet Again
True Love Officially Dead: Donald Sterling Files for Divorce
Love Is Dead: Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt Are Reportedly Dunzo
Love Is Dead: Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner Are Divorcing
Love Is Dead: Ms. Piggy And Kermit Call It Quits
Love Is Dead: Kermit and Miss Piggy Have Broken Up
Love Is Dead: Miss Piggy And Kermit The Frog Are Separating
Love is DEAD for Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield
LOVE IS DEAD! Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin split… AGAIN!
Love is Dead: Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez Are Getting a Divorce
Love Is Dead, Again: Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Have Called It Quits After 11 Years
Love Is Dead Part 983: Gwen Stefani Has Filed For Divorce From Gavin Rossdale
Love Is Dead But Perrie Edwards Is "Good" Post-Split From Zayn Malik
Love is Dead: Gay Icon, Nick Jonas and Olivia Culpo Have Called It Quits!
Love is Dead, Y’all: Big Sean and Ariana Grande Broke Up
Love Is Dead Again: Nick Cannon Confirms Mariah Split
Love Is Dead: Nicholas Sparks and Wife Split Up After 25 Years
Is it possible for something to die 32 times and still die again? We'll find out the next time a celebrity couple calls it quits.