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Crucial Update

Every Time Love Died, According to the Internet

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Let us put aside the pain and heartbreak of celebrity breakups for a moment, and instead consider simple logistics. If something — a person, an animal, an abstract concept — is declared dead, it must somehow resurrect itself before dying again. This theorem, however, does not seem to apply in the world of tabloid journalism.

For what it's worth, it is disillusioning when celebrity relationships reveal themselves to be not so different from normal-person relationships, which ebb and flow. It's easier to give up on love entirely than to consider that maybe love just has a little bit of a cold at the moment! Regardless, here are all the times that the internet, a bastion of hyperbole, declared love dead:

Love Is Dead: Lana Del Rey and Italian Boyfriend Francesco Carrozzini Call It Quits

Love Is Dead: One Direction's Liam Payne and Girlfriend Sophia Smith Reportedly Break Up

Gigi Hadid And Joe Jonas Have Split Up Because Love Is Dead

Gigi Hadid And Joe Jonas Reportedly Broke Up, And Love Is Now Dead

Love Is Dead: Gigi Hadid and Joe Jonas Split After Five Months of Dating

True Love is Dead: Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Are Getting Divorced

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Divorcing, Love Is Dead

Love is super dead: Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman divorce after 42 years together

Love is Dead: Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert Are Getting Divorced

Love Is Dead Part 784: Blake Shelton & Miranda Lambert Are Getting Divorced

Love Is Dead: Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton Are Splitting Up

Love and Comedy Are Both Dead: Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll Have Broken Up

Nick Kroll And Amy Poehler Split, Love Is Dead, And My Hatred For Summer Grows

Amy Poehler And Nick Kroll Have Broken Up, Love Is Dead Yet Again

True Love Officially Dead: Donald Sterling Files for Divorce

Love Is Dead: Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt Are Reportedly Dunzo

Love Is Dead: Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner Are Divorcing

Love Is Dead: Ms. Piggy And Kermit Call It Quits

Love Is Dead: Kermit and Miss Piggy Have Broken Up

Love Is Dead: Miss Piggy And Kermit The Frog Are Separating

LOVE IS DEAD: Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Are Getting Divorced And Chad’s Coming To Bang Your Girlfriend

Love is DEAD for Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield

LOVE IS DEAD! Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin split… AGAIN!

Love is Dead: Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez Are Getting a Divorce

Love Is Dead, Again: Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Have Called It Quits After 11 Years

Love Is Dead Part 983: Gwen Stefani Has Filed For Divorce From Gavin Rossdale

Love Is Dead But Perrie Edwards Is "Good" Post-Split From Zayn Malik

Love is Dead: Gay Icon, Nick Jonas and Olivia Culpo Have Called It Quits!

Love is Dead, Y’all: Big Sean and Ariana Grande Broke Up

Selena Gomez Confirms Justin Bieber Love Dead, Now With Zedd: Poses Topless For V Magazine, Done With "Jelena"

Love Is Dead Again: Nick Cannon Confirms Mariah Split

Love Is Dead: Nicholas Sparks and Wife Split Up After 25 Years

Is it possible for something to die 32 times and still die again? We'll find out the next time a celebrity couple calls it quits.