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For years, it seemed, Brad Pitt's face has been covered by something. At times, it was a giant, peppery-with-a-dash-of-salt beard; at others, it was a rather uncle-y mustache, like in Inglorious Basterds. But when Brad Pitt left his hotel this morning, there was nothing. No stubble. No goatee. Not even a trace of the five o'clock shadow he wore in Fight Club. Just...skin.
But the skin he debuted is not the skin of the average 51-year-old man's face. It is the skin of a newborn baby's bottom. It is the skin of fat, floating cherubs in Rococo paintings. It is the skin of his perfect wife, Angelina Jolie, in the trailer for By The Sea. It is skin that makes no biological sense whatsoever, and answers must be demanded.