Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Each year, Google releases a tiny sliver of its infinite amounts of information in the form of A Year In Search. This includes things like the top news stories of 2015 (yes, The Dress made the list), the most searched calorie counts (if you're Googling the calories "Grilled Stuft Nachos," you're doing Grilled Stuft Nachos wrong), and finally, the most popular fashion questions of 2015.
But because Google's Year In Search doesn't give you the actual answers to said queries, we've handily answered them ourselves. You're welcome!
1. How to walk in heels?
Wait until your mom goes to pick up something at the grocery store, then sneak into her closet. Pick out the fanciest and preferably whitest shoes you can find. Put your left foot in the right shoe and vice versa, then attempt to wobble glamorously all over the room. Look through her jewelry box for a long strand of pearls and throw those over your shoulder. You're fabulous.
2. What to wear on the first day of school?
It doesn't matter what you wear because what matters is on the inside! Therefore, to let your true personality shine through, wear nothing.
3. How to fray jeans?
Buy jeans. Wear them every day for ten years. You're good to go!
4. How to tie a shirt?
What?
5. What should a bride wear to the rehearsal dinner?
Believe it or not, you shouldn't wear your wedding dress. You'll want to save that for the big day, dummy!
6. What to wear booties with?
Booties go really well with sandals, ballet flats, sneakers, even regular tall boots!
7. What are mules shoes?
They are shoes that donkeys wear.
8. What to wear to a wedding in the woods?
Doesn't matter as long as you've got portable bear traps on each arm to prevent bears from attacking people at the wedding. Feel free to do so in lieu of a gift. The bride and groom will thank you!
9. How to dress up like Miranda Sings?
Who is Miranda Sings? Why are we trying to dress up like Miranda Sings? Should I be dressing up like Miranda Sings? Let me Google Miranda Sings.
10. What color shoes goes with a black and blue dress?
Think about it.