Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Welcome to Day 12 of our 12 Days of Celebrities Celebrating amicable holiday smackdown! Though there's still a few days before Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year's Eve are over, the celebrities — along with their pets, stalkers, and Instagram followers — want you to know that they're already making the most of the occasion.
But only one celebrity can be having the Most Fun Ever (today). So far, winners have included Mariah Carey's Hallmark Christmas movie and Beyoncé dressing up as a literal Christmas tree, but here are your runners up and winner for the twelfth and final smackdown on Thursday, December 24rd:
Runner Up #2: Bethenny Frankel's Hat
Tiny hat on a regular-sized Real Housewife of New York! Do we have to spell this out for you! Probably not!
Tiny Hat: 250
Big glass: 500
Normal-sized Real Housewife: 500
Final score: 1,250
Runner Up #1: Taylor Swift's Dad Puns
You used to call me on my elf phone. pic.twitter.com/nMgUI0Igp6— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) December 24, 2015
Taylor Swift is very good at the holidays. She's even better at puns. Or worse. But sometimes a good pun is a bad pun, and this is the case here. Also, the outfit.
Good puns: 400
Bad pun: 600
Drake pun: 1,000
Elf pun: 2,000
Final score: 4,000
Winner: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Damn, have you ever been like what does Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's voice sound like in song? And then you find out on Christmas Eve, while he serenades his wee baby daughter in a reindeer onesie, that it sounds like heaven dipped in chocolate slowly roasted over a fire? And then there's some sort of weird "Santa is evil and this baby is badass" twist that you don't really follow, but it's alright because the sweet notes are still melting your heart and brain? That's what the Instagram above is.
The smooth-ass voice of a living saint/actor: 2,000,000
Really good baby: 500
Really good baby onesie: 500
Confusing Santa implications: 1500
Final score: 2,002,500
In the tradition of the 12 Days of Christmas, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson will receive "12 babies fighting Santa."
Congratulations to all our winners and to all our winners, a good night.