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Sephora Employee Next to Me
Is today the day
I'm brave enough to ask you
"can I pull this off?"
Wingin' It with Eyeliner
I start looking like
Brigitte Bardot, but end like
'90s Courtney Love.
Contouring
Look at my cheekbones!
I'm so good at this I should
Be at the Sorbonne.
Priorities Straight
I've made my best friend
Promise she'll tweeze my face if
I'm in a coma.
Liar
Oh yeah, of course I
Wash my makeup brushes *cough*
Same with my bras, too.
Doesn't Even Sound Like a Word
Oh, how many Spanx
Could a Spanx girl Spanx if a
Spanx girl could Spanx SPANX.
Perfect Selfie
Hold the camera high
Lift up your chin. Smize. Duck face.
Throw phone across room.
Making an Effort
My mom says never
Leave the house without lipstick.
Guess I'm staying in.
Aisling Quinn is a writer and actress who frequents the glamorous bus route between Boston and New York City. Follow @obviouschild for what her Mom raves are "jokes I don't get."