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Filed under:

Crucial Update

The Art of Getting Ready: A Series of Haikus

Shutterstock/Vladimir Gjorgiev
Shutterstock/Vladimir Gjorgiev

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Sephora Employee Next to Me

Is today the day
I'm brave enough to ask you
"can I pull this off?"

Wingin' It with Eyeliner

I start looking like
Brigitte Bardot, but end like
'90s Courtney Love.

Contouring

Look at my cheekbones!
I'm so good at this I should 
Be at the Sorbonne.

Priorities Straight

I've made my best friend
Promise she'll tweeze my face if
I'm in a coma.

Liar

Oh yeah, of course I 
Wash my makeup brushes *cough*
Same with my bras, too.

Doesn't Even Sound Like a Word

Oh, how many Spanx
Could a Spanx girl Spanx if a
Spanx girl could Spanx SPANX.

Perfect Selfie

Hold the camera high
Lift up your chin. Smize. Duck face.
Throw phone across room.

Making an Effort

My mom says never
Leave the house without lipstick.
Guess I'm staying in.



Aisling Quinn is a writer and actress who frequents the glamorous bus route between Boston and New York City. Follow @obviouschild for what her Mom raves are "jokes I don't get."