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It's almost Monday. Which means I'm going to post a few positive affirmations I've picked up here and there over the years. Bear with me...
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 1, 2015
Twitter funny man Ryan Reynolds knows that Mondays suck, so he did us all a favor and spent his Sunday night gathering random nuggets of wisdom obtained over the course of his life. Some gems come from his insightful therapist, and others from that "Loud Guy at Olive Garden." All are equally moving and Monday mood-lifting.
"How's tinnitus of the colon even real? This looks like a Mini-Storage, not a Doctor's office." -- Mitch Fudlum (Ann Arbor, Michigan)
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 1, 2015
"Remember, life is a swirling galactic black hole which draws in all light and hope, spitting out only gamma-radi-anger." -- My therapist.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 1, 2015
"Welcome to the International Failure Parade and Fucktard Endurance Contest." -- Uncle Dale, taking me out for ice cream in 1987.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 1, 2015
"By far, the best test to see if someone's had too much to drink, is to witness them shit on the hood of a car." -- Ancient Chinese Proverb.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 1, 2015
"These coffee beans are imported from Austria. Possibly Italy. I dunno. But they're definitely not domestic." -- Loud Guy at Olive Garden.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 1, 2015