Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Once a long, long time ago in 1991, attorney Anita Hill testified against current Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas regarding some bizarre sexual harassment allegations. Now, HBO has tapped actor Kerry Washington to play Anita Hill in this complex and dramatic tale, called Confirmation.
The first picture of Washington as Hill (above) prompted a fun age-revealing exercise in the Racked offices. If a staffer read the news and her first thought was, "Yes! Exciting historical event that I remember! This deserves to be a feature film accessible via HBO subscription!" then she's an old. And if she thought, "Yes! Kerry Washington is the best! Loooove her. Who is Anita Hill?" then she's a young and the school system has failed her. Here's a conversation that happened nearly verbatim in the Racked offices, transcribed, and presented to you as a not-at-all-comprehensive primer for the youngs.
Benevolent Adult Staffer: That Anita Hill trial feels like it was so, so long ago. Will the kids even know who she is?
Other Benevolent Adult Staffer Here to Translate for the Youngs: Whoaaa, I am excited for this. A whole new generation will learn about Clarence 'The Pube on the Coke Can' Thomas.
Ignorant Millennial Staffer: Nope, I have no idea what y'all are talking about. Am I kicked out of feminism now.
OBASHTTFTY: So SUPREME COURT JUSTICE Clarence Thomas was Anita Hill's boss at the EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY COMMISSION and he'd be like, "Hey Anita, I really like this porn called Long John Silver," or like, "Hey, isn't that a pube on that coke can? I think it's a pube. Is it a pube?" And everyone was like, please no. It all came out at his confirmation hearing.
But then white dudes were like, but we need a black guy to replace Thurgood Marshall and this dude *hates affirmative action* so let's TEAR THIS B APART ["This B" being Anita Hill]. But Joe Biden was cool to her. And now CT just votes however Scalia votes and is the worst.
IMS: That's a bummer.
Some Dude: That was so helpful.
IMS: It really was.
OBASHTTFTY: Try to help where I can. It really clarified who was and was not chill in the Senate at the time, and it's basically where all workplace sexual harassment videos came from.
IMS: I feel like I'm prepared to debate this on the internet with a stranger now.
OBASHTTFTY: That is the end goal of any worthy education.