Colin Farrell, Human Lock Box, Won't Crack Under Any Torturous Beauty Question

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Don't expect Colin Farrell's to get that Into the Gloss feature you've been hoping for. In an interview with Style.com, the True Detective star puts figurative tape over his mouth when asked to talk about his beauty regimen. Behold, an excerpt from Farrell's impressively vague interview:

You seem pretty low-maintenance, but do you have a daily grooming regimen?

Not really. I like to wash up.

So soap?

Yeah, soap, I use it all the time. No, I just open the door and hit the ground running. A little bit of moisturizer every now and then.

For red carpets, though, the actor amps it up.  He has a friend who gives him "a little comb, a little spray, and a little of this and a little of that." I mean, fascinating. Are you taking notes? This sure sounds a lot better than platysmaplasty.