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Crucial Update

Beyoncé Carries Her Own Laptop: WHY.

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Beyoncé's laptop is not just any laptop. Its hardware may be similar to yours, but the secrets it holds are beyond anything your retinas can handle. Why was Queen Bey carrying the laptop herself, rather than trusting a handler? The possibilities are endless. Here are six of them:

1. That's where she keeps her new top-secret album and it. can. not. leak.

2. It holds the Powerpoint presentation for the Illuminati meeting she's on her way to.

3. Blue Ivy just learned the password.

4. It's an ad for Apple/Apple Music.

5. A bag disguised as a laptop? People make bags out of anything these days.

6. Great new workout for toned arms! Switch off arms every half hour for maximum results. Promotes balance and overall zen.