Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Ari Seigel is an NYC based comedy writer and performer, whose work has been featured on Jezebel, College Humor, LOGOtv, NYMag.com, and NYLON. Follow her @ariseigel.