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Crucial Update

25 Things to Buy Instead of Another Five Dollar Iced Coffee

You've been wasting $5 a day on iced coffee when you could be saving that money or buying these essential items instead!

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  1. Automated massage chair-massage at your local laundromat
  2. 1/2 pound of organic chicken breast
  3. Garbage travel-sized conditioner Sephora positions at the checkout line
  4. A pack of pens marketed towards girls called "Fashion Sticks"
  5. Four dollars (plus processing charge) to the Let's Give Bob Dylan a Nice Bed! GoFundMe
  6. The Other Woman starring Natalie Portman on Blu-ray
  7. Almost a whole door knob from Anthropologie
  8. In-app purchase during a hard level of Angry Birds 2
  9. Five years of owning the domain name fartshop.com
  10. Four packs of bobby pins. You always need more bobby pins.
  11. Twelve-pack of Taco Bell's New Cap'n Crunch Delights
  12. Betty and Veronica Double Digest No. 139
  13. Assorted "Keep Calm and Carry On" merchandise on clearance at Target
  14. Two months of Laguna Beach's Kristen Cavallari's eponymous lifestyle app
  15. 100 off-brand Vitamin D capsules
  16. Five oysters at happy hour
  17. Two meatballs from the Whole Foods hot bar
  18. Misspelled inner lip tattoo
  19. Box of cardboard "earth friendly" tampons
  20. Bouquet of rainbow-dyed carnations from the check-out aisle
  21. Joke Venmo money exchange to show the world at large you have friends and disposable income
  22. Really good hot dog
  23. Nameplate keychain memento spelled the less common way your name is sometimes spelled
  24. Pair of comedy vampire teeth from Party City
  25. Moisturizing Korean snailmask

Claire Carusillo lives in a bedroom in New York City. Follow @clocarus for an open discussion of books, bread, and eyebrows.