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Crucial Update

Ex-Boyfriend Book Blurbs

When you've closed the book on a guy, but friends and family still offer soundbites on the relationship.

Hunky ex-boyfriend enjoys reading about himself.
Hunky ex-boyfriend enjoys reading about himself.

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"POLITE...such a NICE boy....HEART-WRENCHINGLY SAD when you broke up with him...You could have been ENGAGED...YOU'LL BE MAD YOU MISSED OUT ON THIS when another girl snatches him up. Wait and see!" – The Mom Daily

"AN HONEST, UNFLINCHING LOOK at the very last text from your ex, which simply read ‘Did you throw away my light saber.' It forces you to reevaluate EVERYTHING YOU EVER THOUGHT about your taste in men." – Alexa, coworker and author of When He Has More Toys Than Your Three-Year-Old Nephew

"You'll love DEVON, the hot musician who's using you for free WiFi, if you also love getting your heart broken by a guy with so many red flags he might as well be a beach with a RIPTIDE." – Brianna, best friend and author of I'm Telling You This For Your Own Good NO DON'T TEXT HIM

"A THRILL RIDE that starts off SLOW AND STEADY, but ends so suddenly you'll be asking in disbelief ‘WHAT JUST HAPPENED?'" – The Just Tell Me What I Did Wrong? Gazette

"...a REVELATION that you do indeed manage to find all the CRAZY people on OkCupid!" – Ban Online Dating Quarterly

"If you thought dating someone in your building was a GENIUS IDEA, when you eventually break up get ready for a SUSPENSEFUL GAME OF HIDE-AND-SEEK every time you go to the laundry room!" – Ted, author of It's Never a Good Idea and But I Bet You'll Do It Anyway

"A CHILLING TALE of Dan, the guy you hung out with every day for a month and then GHOSTED on you, STEALING YOUR HEART along with your expensive electric toothbrush." – Seriously That Thing Was Like 50 Bucks Journal

"This guy IS SCORCHINGLY HOT...He's a DJ and his casually racist/sexist jokes are a DELIGHT...he's got a tattoo of the Ferrari symbol on his arm.  YOU'D BE CRAZY TO PASS THIS ONE UP!" – Tracy, friend and two-time winner of a house arrest sentencing

"A HARROWING ACCOUNT of a blind date that started off WONDERFUL and ended abruptly when your date screamed at the waiter "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE MOZZARELLA STICKS?! WHAT KIND OF SUSHI PLACE IS THIS?!?" – The That Escalated Quickly Post

"...It's not every day you find a guy SO TALENTED he can sneak ‘I don't own a TV' into any conversation, even those having nothing to do with TV."  – Matt, ex and author of I Hate Your New Boyfriend

Aisling Quinn is a writer and actress who frequents the glamorous bus route between Boston and New York City. Follow @obviouschild for what her mom raves are "jokes I don't get."