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I Tried Everything on Kylie Jenner's Instagram

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King Kylie herself.
King Kylie herself.
Michael Buckner/BMA2015/Getty Images

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Kylie Jenner needs no introduction. Once billed as the youngest and quietest of the Kardashian fam, Kylie is now one of the most headline-generating of the whole crew, second only to Kim. With an aesthetic that mixes the best of high fashion and street style paired with her continually changing look, Kylie has positioned herself as one of the most mysterious and exciting people in fashion and beauty. This should come as no surprise, as she’s in the middle of launching a beauty empire of her own with her new website, app, and the #KylieLipKit. After all, if she’s learned one thing from her big sisters, it’s how to cash in on the moment.

Every once in a while, Kylie will let us in on a beauty product that she’s loving, all of them being $25 or under. Some would ask, is one of the wealthiest 18 year-olds in the world, with access to the best products on the market, really using these? Or is it just another paid endorsement?

Who cares?! There’s nothing better than a young woman building her own brand. Either way, I’m on board. That’s why I tried every beauty product on Kylie Jenner’s Instagram.

Bioré Deep Pore Cleanser ($7.99)

Now before you start in on me: Yes, activated charcoal is quite a thing in beauty right now, because of its ability to draw impurities out of your skin, and yes, next year we will probably be on to something different. However, I would pick this stuff up from the drugstore even without an endorsement from Kylie, because I’ve used a bunch of other products containing charcoal and have seen measurable results from each one.

Biore’s Deep Pore Cleanser uses activated charcoal to remove two times the impurities from your skin as your basic cleanser, with added menthol to cool skin as you wash and leave it tingly after you’re dry. Thanks to the charcoal, this oil-free cleanser is black. Not a transparent black gel, like, actually black. Kylie is all about an all black 'fit, so it’s no surprise that her skincare regime would follow suit.

Bioré Self Heating One Minute Mask ($7.99)

When they say "self-heating," they really mean it. From the second the gray paste makes contact with oxygen, it starts to heat up, and quick. The mask opens pores and uses charcoal to draw out dirt and oil. It doesn’t take long for this mask to do its job: just leave it on for one minute and then rinse for purified, refreshed skin. Want to turn up the heat? Mix the mask with a little bit of water to increase the heat by a factor of two.

Toni & Guy Sea Salt Texturising Spray ($14.99)

I do a lot of things right when I jump out of the shower to make it look like I haven’t actually showered in days. Sea salt sprays are a perfect way to get messy, morning-after hair, but sometimes, they bypass the perfect amount of grit and take you all the way to grime.

The Toni & Guy Sea Salt Spray gives you the perfect light mist of sea salt for the lived-in look without leaving you with dry, tangly hair that’s begging to be conditioned. When I style my hair with this, I can get at least an extra day of wear because it keeps my hair soft enough for natural movement while still giving it texture. This is the perfect spray to accentuate the short layers of Kylie’s natural cut — when it’s not enhanced by extensions or under a wig.

Eyeko Black Magic Mascara ($25)

Kylie endorsing a mascara is a bit like someone who drives a Rolls being the face of a Honda CRV. While I don’t doubt that Kylie used Eyeko Black Magic Mascara on the night of the AMAs, you have to keep in mind that it was applied to eyelash extensions and, most likely, a strip of falsies.

But, as America’s Leading Mascara Journalist, I can tell you that Eyeko’s Black Magic is a solid choice if you’re in the market for a new mascara. The bristled brush coats each lash from root to tip so the volume is proportional to the length, taking your lashes from natural to full glam with just a few passes. The curved brush adds dramatic curl to even your tiniest lashes, really opening up the eyes.

Eyeko Eye Do Eyeliner ($20)

Eyeliner isn’t usually part of my day-to-day beauty routine, and by that I mean, I suck at it. However, whenever I do decide to line my eyes, I find that felt-tipped liners give both an ease and precision that I don’t seem to find with pencils or liquid applied with a brush.

Since the eyeliner itself is very thin, you can get a nice black line with almost no applied pressure, which cuts down on the drag of the eyelid, easing application all around. The applicator has an extremely fine tip, so it’s perfect for just a small bit of black above the lashes or a dramatic, precise cat eye.

Another thing that makes this eyeliner so great is the portability. Being a product and applicator all in one, everything is self-contained so there’s no extra pots or brushes rattling around in your bag. With a barrel scarcely bigger than a ballpoint pen, you can keep with you at all times to take your look from day to night at a moment’s notice. I was going to say it’s also great to have on you for touch ups, but the Eye Do Liquid Liner is waterproof, and by that, they mean everything-proof. It dries in seconds and once it’s there, it’s not going to budge.

Cocoa Brown One Hour Tan Mousse ($7.99)

Okay so, this a miss. It wasn’t the product’s fault, however. It’s just that sometimes I forget that I’m not actually Kylie Jenner, and that’s when things get weird.

For obvious reasons, fake tanners work best for people with no body hair. I’m a 28 year-old Sicilian and this where I leave you. What was I thinking?

Love my @cocoabrowntan from @marissacarter when I want a fast tan #SelfTan #CocoaBrown #1HourTan

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Nip + Fab Viper Venom Wrinkle Fix (19.95)

I just had a birthday, which officially clocks me in at 10 years older than Kylie Jenner. Somewhere in my early 20s, I decided to start caring about my skin, because I want to keep myself looking hot for as long as possible, seeing as my looks are the only thing I have going for me. I’m all about serums because they hit you with concentrated ingredients to really amp up your daily skincare routine.

This daily serum includes LIFTONIN-XPRESS and SYN-AKE which are both powerful agents that help to diminish fine lines and wrinkles while smoothing skin, all working together to slow and combat signs of aging. Over time, imperfections are blurred and skin tone is improved. All of these skincare benefits come in at just under $20, which is a total steal.

Nip + Fab Gycolic Scrub Fix ($9.95)

A good exfoliator is an absolute skincare must have for me, because I love feeling like I’ve gotten a really deep clean every other day, at least. Bonus points if it’s under 3.5 ounces so I can throw it in my carry-on when I fly/never have to be without it, and even more of a bonus if it’s inexpensive — so I can buy another one after I inevitably forget it on vacation.

This creamy exfoliator includes glycolic acid, salicylic acid, and tiny exfoliating beads to deeply cleanse pores and gently renew and brighten skin with each use. It’s got a delicious grapefruit scent to wake you up as you shower, even after your longest night.

So, am I hotter because I used all of these Kylie-endorsed beauty products? Debatable. Do I feel hotter? Immeasurably so. All I need now is a G-Wagon, an Italian Greyhound named Norman, and my own subscription beauty app (WHO’S IN?!).