Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
DJ Khaled, Snapchat luminary and the key emoji incarnate, is also a fanatic sneakerhead. Not only does he have an entire library of fancy sneakers, but he also likes to call them things that are definitely not their official title, but are sprinkled with far more DJ Khaled-isms, and therefore vastly superior.
In a segment for The Daily Show, DJ Khaled offered correspondent Hasan Minhaj a look inside his towering sneaker closet. While the clip does include the abstract motivational speak requisite of any conversation with DJ Khaled ("They key to success is to keep your head above water," "Knowing is better than learning") it also features one of DJ Khaled's other talents: his ability to rename sneakers.
Here they are, ranked from least to most DJ Khaled-ness:
7. "I call these ... 'The Red Sea.'"
6. "I call these ... 'Hotline Bling.'"
5. "I call these ... 'Give Thanks to the Most High.'"
4. "I call these ... 'Give Thanks to the Leather Butter Soft.'"
3. "I call these ... 'Don't Ever Play Yourself.'"
2. "I call these ... 'Another Color.'"
1. "I call these ... 'Another One.'"
Watch the clip in all its glory below.