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The holidays are all about cherishing time with family, seeing friends, being thankful, blah blah blah. But don’t kid yourself: It’s also about trying to impress anyone and everyone you ever knew in your hometown.
Seeing old chums means getting to relive some of the best, most memorable times of your life — as well as a deluge of questions into your current situation: How’s work? How’s your family? How’s your love life? Many of these questions can simply be answered with another question: Do you see this motherfucking coat??
You've gotten a little (or a whole lot) more stylish since leaving your hometown in ways you barely have the patience to make your old friends understand. Things like: who you know. How much your shit cost. How hot the brand is you’re wearing.
So there are a few things you need to keep in mind before you jump into the trenches with your less stylish hometown crew.
Know your surroundings.
Since staying sane during the holidays involves escaping family regularly, there are going to be multiple social get-togethers. Clothing-wise, it’s very easy to overdo it or underdo it, and people will call you out for it faster than your first act of coitus with Courtney junior year. So pack for all sorts of situations knowing people will be watching.
For a night at the local watering hole, your strategically ripped denim and Yeezys accomplish that whole stand-out-while-blending-in thing. For a semi-formal get-together at a friend’s house, a long Haider Ackermann topcoat ($1,519), tapered wool trousers, and leather Margiela Chelsea boots ($920) can make their semi-formal appearance. Don’t let your longtime fangirls or boys down.
Keep it within your aesthetic.
It’s very easy to fall into the trap of the trend, compromising your personal aesthetic to try and be seen as “in-the-know.” Though it may look dope on some fashion enthusiasts, you don’t need to venture into baggy crushed velvet crewnecks and embroidered snake-adorned denim just to impress (or confuse). You can go outside the box, but keep it within your comfort zone. Now is not the time to try even crazier #fashion than you typically rock as it will feel unnatural to you, thus coming off as looking unnatural to others.
Make them feel like peasants.
Your old homie tries to roast you and say your Acne Studios shearling coat looks like something a broke-ass Bane would wear? Tell him it costs more than three months of his rent. Your ex asks when you started dressing “weird?” Ask her if any of Kanye’s personal style consultants ever gave her outfit three fire emojis on Instagram before. Just because they don’t understand what you’re wearing doesn’t mean it isn’t infinitely better than anything they own. Plus, you saw what your homie rolled up in — when did he get a car with power windows and working windshield wipers?? Remember: You’re not the only one who’s evolved since high school.
Bringing your sig other? They better come correct, too.
Your girlfriend or boyfriend agreed to come home with you for the holidays? Grandma loves them? That’s all good and swell and I’m going to let you finish, but now understand the added responsibility of coming correct as a unit. Even if your significant other doesn’t care about #fashion as much as you do, today’s the day to step up. They have to understand that it’s not about them — it’s BIGGER than them. Your whole family wants to know when you’re going to put a ring on it, all you want to know is when she’s going to put some Rick on.