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A Minimalist’s Guide to Shopping Black Friday

I’ll just be here on the couch, doing the least.

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A close-up of Patagonia's forest green, quilted down pants.
Patagonia’s recycled down pants.
Photo: Patagonia

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This year, my number one Black Friday priority is to watch Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life in its entirety before nightfall. That’s a slight deviation from my usual goal on the day after Thanksgiving: beating my siblings to the leftover pie chilling in the refrigerator.

So little have I historically engaged with our nation’s foremost consumptive holiday that before I started writing about the retail business, there were multiple consecutive years when my sister and I foolishly decided to take a trip to the mall on Black Friday, having forgotten that it was Black Friday.

That said, there are a few deals that I plan to check out while checking out Jess Mariano. (Along with Emily Gilmore, he is clearly the most promising character in the Gilmore Girls reboot.) Feel free to join me on this brief internet tour of all that Black Friday has to offer.

First stop is Patagonia, since it’s giving 100 percent of today’s proceeds to environmental protection organizations. I was pretty excited by this recycled down pullover and these matching pants when I saw them IRL a few weeks ago, but I very clearly don’t need them, so I plan to keep those tabs open and periodically scrutinize the goods throughout the day. Decision-making at a simmer.

There is a very good chance I will buy a pair of socks, though, because your toes can never be too cozy and, again, the money is going to charitable groups.

Next up, I’m visiting Creatures of Comfort, which has a number of items marked at 30 percent off. Creatures of Comfort is my favorite destination for ogling pieces that sit at the intersection of “unnecessary and often impractical” and “out of my price range,” so today seems like a good day to touch base.

Extra Crispy’s list of Black Friday deals on kitchen wares is my final destination. I recently moved apartments and, in leaving one set of roommates, have discovered that I don’t actually own a big bowl to toss salad in, or a good spatula, or any sort of baking tools. I’ll put off this shopping mission until I’m done with at least two Gilmore Girls episodes, because priorities are priorities, future salads be damned.

And that’s it. Have a nice Friday!


Watch: The History of Black Friday