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Nordstrom Wants to Sell You a Leather-Clad Rock for $85

Don’t worry there’s a smaller version, for just $65.

Nordstrom rock in leather pouch

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Somewhere in LA, a man named Peter Maxwell is making rocks and (gently) stuffing them into handmade leather pouches. Nordstrom is selling them in two sizes, for $65 to $85, and not even they are sure of what, exactly, they are selling.

A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art? It's up to you.

Lest you think this is just a pet rock for the artisanal age, the copy assures you that this gorgeous rock will attract attention wherever it’s placed. Honestly, anything I could say the Nordstrom customers have said better, taking to the reviews with true holiday zeal.

They start with just a bit of snark:

Have to say that this is truly a beautiful product, but I had to send it back because there aren't any doggone instructions.

Before diving headfirst into are-you-fucking-kidding-me territory:

As a single mother, it is often difficult to put food on the table for my 5 children. However, when I saw this piece of rock, I couldn't help it but to purchase this item.

And coming to a glorious conclusion:

I ordered the leather wrapped stone as a gift for my beloved girlfriend but when it arrive in the mail I quickly noticed it wasn't as described. It clearly states that the stone was hand-made but upon inspection one could easily discern many markings from factory machinery. I had it returned so they could ship me an authentic hand-made stone. The leather was alright so I kept it and I found an organic GMO free substitute in my garden to replace it while I wait for the new one to be shipped in the mail.

Leather-bound handmade luxury rocks are, I suppose, the logical conclusion to 2016.