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Innovative New Ways to Layer You've Definitely Never Thought Of

Have you tried wearing all your clothes at once?

Photo: Edward Berthelot/Getty Images

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When the temperature drops, there’s nothing quite like wearing clothes on top of other clothes. Personally, I feel very layer-bullied by big brands every year, and I’m tired of trying to look like a smug Gap model swaddled in slub cotton tees! Aren't you? Of course you are! As an alternative, here are some innovative and unexpected layered looks to add to your closet for winter 2017.

Celebrity Turtleneck

This look is dripping in mystery. Layer one, two, or even three turtlenecks at a time — but don’t fold the necks down. I repeat, keep your turtlenecks at Full Turtle. The sweaters will obscure the bottom half of your face, leaving passersby to wonder things like: "Is that woman famous?" and "Isn’t her nose sweating?" Add sunglasses and muffled vocal fry to complete the ensemble.

Le Secret Jacket

Some people think of leather jackets as outerwear. Some people are also small-brained losers like my cousin Karen who said I couldn’t get on Shark Tank even if I tried. Anyway, school the haters by using a moto jacket as your base layer, adding a crew neck thermal and a chambray oxford on top. If anyone asks you if you're actually wearing a jacket underneath your clothes, respond with a shrug or any French phrase. It's a very Madewell look, but with more, how you say, lumps.

Sex Vest

The key to this look is ONLY covering your torso, because in my experience, nothing turns lovers on like gangly, bare limbs. Start with a sultry bodysuit, then add a sleeveless knit mock turtleneck, a cropped wool waistcoat, and a yak hair gilet or sherpa-lined puffer vest for alluring, snuggly texture.

"The Rachel"

This layered look is a pure '90s throwback. You know that episode of Friends? The One Where Joey Puts On All of His Clothes? Do that! Then grab a pair of scissors and cut everything you own into swingy face-framing layers.

7 Layer Dip

This is a fantastic look for any holiday potluck. Pair a chunky knit — the chunkier the better, really — with some denim overalls, preferably with a large chest pocket. Then, assemble your 7-Layer Dip. You will need:

  • Refried Beans
  • Sour Cream
  • Shredded Cheese
  • Guacamole
  • Pico De Gallo
  • Salsa Verde
  • Chopped Green Onions & Black Olives
  • Cooked Ground Beef

Carefully transfer all of the dip to a gallon Ziploc, snip the bottom corner of the bag, and pipe the delicious mixture into your front pouch! Accessorize with an on-trend bag of Tostitos Scoops.