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Crucial Update

Alternative Headlines for This Tortoise Sex at Fashion Week Story

Photo: SlyMagazine/Instagram

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Hey, did you hear about those two turtles boning at the Mathieu Mirano presentation last night? It's pretty much the ideal fashion week story. There's will-they-won't-they love and torrid public sex and glamour and desert landscapes. It's got it all! The hard part for editors is giving a story like this the headline it deserves. Join us, will you, for a headline brainstorm.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere goes:

May Your Valentine's Day Be as Spontaneous and Glamorous as These Turtles Boning at a Fashion Show

Coming Out of His Shell

Slow and Steady Wins the Fashion Show and Also the Sex

Surprise Tortoise Sex Upstaged Fashion

Sex Shells

In Fashion, Sex Shells

At New York Fashion Week, Sex Shells

A Wild, Tortoise Affair

Turtle Necks (And More!) at Fashion Week

Sea Turtles Bone

Horny Teenage Model Turtles

The Tortoise and What to Wear (and What to Have Sex With, Which Is Another Tortoise)

The Tortoise and the Stare (Because How Can You Not, Those Turtles Are Doing It at Fashion Week!)

The Tortoise and the Care (He Feels for Another Tortoise, at NYFW)

The Tortoise and the Tear (That Ass Up)

The Tortoise and the Bare (Naked Turtle Sex)

The Tortoise and the Dare (to Have Sex in Front of Everyone, Including Photographers)