A box of chocolates, a dozen roses, an anxiety attack trying to make Valentine's Day dinner reservations while simultaneously scanning the "special" prix fixe menu price for the occasion. These are all staples of the average person's Valentine's Day.
Rappers are anything but ordinary people, though, and their Valentine's Day celebrations and presents should generally be as outsized as Kanye's ego. We set out to find out what labels pop up most in individual rappers' songs, discover the best lyrics about gifts, and make educated assumptions about what these artist's significant others are probably receiving for Valentine's Day. We worked with Genius, which generously provided all the data used in this serious quantitative analysis.
It's a big moment for people like Meek Mill, who needs to step up after a tough year; Travi$ Scott, who needs to get Rihanna through this Tidal-induced tough time; and Jay Z, who needs to prove himself worthy.
So pop open the Cristal, grab a couple chocolate-covered strawberries, hold your boo close, and ogle at the high-priced labels that are probably being swapped at the Valentine's Date of your favorite rappers.
The General Population of Rappers
We know at least one rapper girlfriend (or side chick) is getting Gucci. This brand is brought up most rappers in their lyrics. Lil' Wayne leads the pack with "Gucci Gucci Gucci," then there's Kreayshawn equally-as-Gucci "Gucci Gucci," Chamillionaire's "Gucci & Fendi," and Gucci Mane. Gucci designer Alessandro Michele truly has the easiest job in the world.
No label has been brought up more in rap songs than Gucci, and probably will be the biggest hit this Valentine's Day.
Extravagant gifts are an integral part of Kanye and Kim's relationship. Gigantic rings from Lorraine Schwartz, pick-up basketball games on the same court where the Lakers play, walls of flowers so big they probably wouldn't fit into the average New Yorker's apartment, the list can go on and on. Using this data, we can also assume a lot of Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Dior.
Kanye knows his shit when it comes to fashion so we're hardly surprised to see some classic time-tested brands on top of his chart. The only shocker is that Kanye's Dark Valentine's Day fantasy does not, at least according to the charts, involve one of those super tight Givenchy dresses that we know he loves Kim in.
Pray for the 6 God. Already the most emotional rapper in the game, and now he's alone on the most romantic day of the year. It hasn't been a great year for Drake. Cupid's arrow failed to strike Serena Williams, Rihanna, and Nicki, no matter how many times Drake picked on Meek Mill.
Drake'll probably just take a trip to the mall in Calabasas and pick up something from Gucci, Chanel, or Versace Versace Versace. Oh, and don't forget the pint of Ben & Jerrys.
Jay has gotta be going all out for Valentine's Day this year. The gap between Hov and Beyoncé only widened this year, making it very clear that Jay, and really no man, is deserving of the Queen Bey.
Jay is apparently going to do the best he can with knowledge obtained from watching Sex and the City reruns and just defaulting to the ultimate label in luxury, Hermés. Jay has never felt older.
Style is just one of the many areas that Rihanna has Travi$ Scott beat in. We imagine the rapper has to be sweating it out this year looking for a gift to keep his rumored girlfriend around. Especially since those $9,000 Dolce & Gabbana headphones prove that trying to buy a gift for the BadGal is like looking for a present for the person who already has two of everything.
Maison Margiela and Balenciaga are slight favorites in the case that either Rihanna or Travi$ aren't too high to remember that Valentine's Day is even happening.
Tyga is an infamous regifter. Remember those rumors that he painted over a car he had bought for ex-girlfriend Blac Chyna and gifted it to Kylie? He might want to just go all the way with this branching out thing and try some new lyrics with some more age-appropriate women. The "Stimulated" video is still giving us nightmares, tbh.
Whatever Tyga gifts her, maybe she could wear it on the most awkward double-date of all time with her brother and her boyfriend's ex-fiancée.
Yes, technically Rocky is not in a relationship. But he's so fashionable the chances we were going to leave him out were nil. So, for the purposes of this exercise let's just pretend the love story he tells on "Fashion Killa" came true: "I met my baby expressed my passion on my fashion night out."
Rocky had the largest designer vocabulary and even designers with multiple mentions ranged from storied classics like Prada to newer designers such as Raf Simons, Rick Owens, and Jeremy Scott.
Over the past year, Future has been vying for the crown of the most emotionally-ravaged rapper. He called off his engagement with Ciara and has been trolling her new boyfriend, Seattle Seahawk's quarterback Russell Wilson, and medicating himself with lean ever since. Future might be single for Valentine's Day, but we're betting that he probably won't be alone.
The only sure thing regarding Future's holiday plans is that he already has a pair of Gucci flip-flops on the way to the Northwest.
The Minaj-Mill House
Meek has a lot of competition who, if Meek's track record is any evidence, will probably humiliate him. There's Troy, from Detroit, who used to buy her Alexander McQueen and motorcycle-riding Michael — also known as Romaine — who she made buy her Balmain, at least according to "Anaconda."
Nicki will get him the ultimate gift of not breaking up with him.
Happy Valentine's Day!