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What's red and flat and fuzzy and covered in celebrities? Ed Sheehan's butt, but that's not what we're focusing on right now. The answer is the red carpet at the Grammys, among other red carpets! Yes, it is that time of year again, time for the most important event that immediately precedes the Grammys, which, in turn, is the most important music-industry awards show named after your mom's mother.
And just as they do for every important award show, E! has assembled a team of 436 copywriters who collect and jazz up hundreds of thousands of banal and wonderful 'toids (fun fact: short for "factoid"), which are deployed via "crawl" — an information ticker, usually appearing at the bottom of a television screen during a live news event — in tandem with their red carpet coverage. But as the E! Live Grammy Red Carpet Coverage is only 15 to 48 hours long, not all of these fact-sinating pieces of information can be used. Here are some of the funnest facts that didn't make the cut:
Multiple nominee The Weeknd hates Mondays.
Record of the Year nominee "Uptown Funk" wasn't actually written by Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars, and a team of writers, but has always existed and will always exist.
Fashion Alert: Tony Bennett looks dapper in the Armani suit he plans to be buried in.
Best Pop Vocal Album nominee Kelly Clarkson says she thinks birds are "fine."
Florence & the Machine is neither Florence nor a machine. Discuss.
Ex's & Oh's singer Elle King uses her arms to lift things when necessary.
Fashion Alert: Meghan Trainor is stunning in leftover costuming from the Broadway musical Grease Live!.
Performer Demi Lovato is half of a Regular Lovato.
Alabama Shakes leader singer Brittany Howard loves fruit, especially strawberries!
Album of the Year nominee "To Pimp a Butterfly" was originally titled "To Primp a Butterfly."
Bjork is actually 6'2" but appears much smaller through the use of mirrors.
Fashion Alert: Songwriter and "Blank Space" nominee Max Martin is dressed.
Best Traditional Pop Album nominee Seth McFarlane grew up with a dog named Brian! Whom he later set on fire, early markings of a serial killer.
Best Pop Solo Performance nominee Ellie Goulding is afraid of elevators.
Skrillex is a myth.
Performer Pitbull has a map of Miami tattooed on his skull, which he must cover with makeup before every public appearance.
Best Alternative Music Album nominee Wilco named their latest album, "Star Wars," after former President Ronald Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative.
Fashion Alert: Best Rap Performance nominee Drake is wearing Ann Taylor Loft.
"If I Don't Have You" nominee Tamar Braxton does not have you.
Best Urban Contemporary Album nominee Miguel owns 35 pairs of sandals.
Performer Rihanna has drank water.
Taylor Swift would love the mixtape I made her, if only she would return my phone calls.
Fashion Alert: Ed Sheeran is a ghost who has been dead for 40 years.
Best Dance Recording nominees The Chemical Brothers aren't really brothers, but they are both detached Siamese twins.
Performer Lauryn Hill has killed dozens with her song, but they all went smiling.