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The Kardashians' Corporation Names Are More Embarrassing Than Your First AIM Screen Name

Kevin Mazur/Getty

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The Kardashian women have long since proved their superiority at naming things, starting way back when the woman born Kristen Mary Houghton decided to shorten her handle to a kickier "Kris." She went on to dub her first daughter Kourtney with a K, despite a wealth of K-names at her disposal, and things have only gotten better from there. So, of course, when it comes to naming businesses — the second funnest thing rich people get to name, after racehorses but before yachts — they come up with unbelievably perfect, [100 emoji] titles.

Kimberly Kardashian West is the President of the truly-amazingly named Kimsaprincess Inc, which, in 2007, was incorporated, like the vast majority of Kardashjenner kompanies, in California. She is also, under her unmarried name, the Secretary of Dash Boutique, Inc. named after the sisters' store and/or that one emoji that Americans think means fart but doesn't. Dash Boutique, Inc. (of which Khloe is the President, while Kourtney is the Treasurer) was incorporated in Florida in 2009, so that explains Kourtney and Kim Take Miami.

In addition to her active corporations, Kim was previously also affiliated as a managing member with Klass Act LLC (filed as a Domestic in 2009), Dash Dolls LLC (filed as a Domestic in 2010), Khaotic LLC (filed as a Domestic in slightly-later 2010), Kdash LLC (finishing up the 2010 Domesticating spree). She was also a member of the tragically named Kklove LLC, in which she shared managing membership with the bad Kris: Humphries. Kklove LLC was filed as a Domestic in 2011, and then, as we all remember, quickly filed as a Get the Hell House of My House.

Khloe Kardashian, sometimes spelled Kloe in some legal documents, or occasionally Kloe K. Odom, is also associated with Dash Dolls LLC and Khaotic LLC. Additionally, she is a managing member of Khlomar, LLC, along with her kinda-husband-depending-on-what-Us-Weekly-says, Lamar Odom. The pair were formerly members of an LLC called Bread Maker LLC, filed in 2011 before Khloe stopped eating bread. Khloe is also, under her unmarried name, the President of California-incorporated companies Khlomoney, Inc (2007), and Khlomoney Productions (2015), which: yes, get that Khlomoney, girl.

Kourtney, the low-key mom type of the group, is the President of the aggressively named 2DIE4KOURT, Inc (incorporated in CA in 2007). She is formerly the President of Smooch for Kids, filed as an Articles of Incorporation in 2007 and a member of Just the Two of Us, LLC. Notably, when Just the Two of Us, LLC was founded in 2010, Kourtney was the only human member, not sharing it — as one might have naively assumed — with exboyfriend and child father Scott Disick. The other member of Just of the Two of Us, LLC, is Jenner Communications, Inc.

So who is involved with Jenner Communications, Inc? Mysterious President "Kristen" Jenner founded it in 2007. This "Kristen" person went on to become the President of Momager, Inc in 2012, which seems late TBH. (It's Kris — if you didn't get it, it's Kris.)

Kris (as Kris, get it right) is also the President of Kylie Jenner, Inc, which is like, moooo-ooomm. She was previously President of Kendall Jenner, Inc. Both companies were incorporated in 2010. Kris was formerly a member of 2009's Tower Lane Productions, but who cares, that name is boring.

The current president of Kendall Jenner, Inc. is Kendall Jenner not Inc. This is Kendall's only company, which I'm sure her sisters think is adorable. Kylie Jenner, meanwhile, is not left out, she is a member of King Kylie, LLC, filed as a domestic in 2015. Caitlyn Jenner has, surprisingly, no active corporations under any name.

Finally, Scott Disick is also a member of a handful of companies, of course, but not one of them involves the word "Lord," so we're sure you don't care.