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My Abject Failure of an Attempt to Sell $200 Versace Sunglasses

Jennifer Lopez in a vaguely similar pair of sunglasses in 2009
Jennifer Lopez in a vaguely similar pair of sunglasses in 2009
Photo: James Devaney/Getty Images

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While Marie Kondo-ing my apartment, I was ruthless in donating things I never wore. Nothing was spared, except this pair of Versace sunglasses that have been gathering dust on a shelf for the past oh, nine years or so.

For so long, I thought, "One day I'll sell these and get back some of the money I paid. They're designer, someone will always want them."

First, allow me to describe these sunglasses and the circumstances in which I bought them. I think it was 2007, pre-recession, and it was a different time in terms of party swag bags. I covered a few parties in DC back then, and for each one, you'd get a swag bag on the way out that would be stuffed full of shampoo, makeup samples, restaurant gift certificates, and other detritus.

But one of these bags had a coupon for $100 off at the Versace boutique in Tysons II, which felt momentous.

Photo: The sunglasses in question

I was not going to let that go to waste, even when I realized not a thing was priced at, say, $115.

My options for the Versace coupon were narrow to say the least, so somehow I walked out with a pair of $220 tortoise shell, visor-like, full-on sunglasses that incorporate large Medusa head logos on each side with about 50 rhinestones along the frames.

Remember, this is in the aughts with Paris Hilton and J.Lo and Juicy tracksuits. I swear it made sense then.

I didn't wear them very much because they were "too special" and then as time passed I realized that maybe this wasn't my personal style. They didn't suit me, to put it nicely. But I let them sit on the shelf and every time I saw them I thought about their potential to make me some cash. Until I actually tried to sell them online.

Poshmark's mobile app was my first attempt, and I set the bidding for $50, nothing that the original price was $220. "Rarely worn!" my ad proclaimed.

I only got one bid, for $20. That felt like a slap in the face, so I countered with $40. Crickets.

My next step was eBay's Valet service, where I hoped that someone else would be able to connect these sunglasses with the right buyer. I sent it off awhile ago, and this week, the box was unceremoniously returned to my mailbox.

"Item returned to you," my eBay Valet account says. "Can't be authenticated." I read that and I thought about how excited I was when I left the store, Versace bag in hand, that I had made this BIG designer purchase. I was really an adult, these sunglasses are going to make my life better, I knew it.

Today, I couldn't even sell these shades for 77% off what I paid. So now I've learned, the hard way—that the things I splurge on today could be worth nothing tomorrow. But if you want to splurge, bidding is open on some very chic Versace sunglasses on Postmark!

Update: Sold! This is incredible. Someone out there in the Racked universe just got a great deal on $25 Versace sunglasses! They must've read the post in full, since they went $5 whole dollars above the embarrassing $20 ask. Thank you and expect speedy shipment!