Cookie banner

This site uses cookies. Select "Block all non-essential cookies" to only allow cookies necessary to display content and enable core site features. Select "Accept all cookies" to also personalize your experience on the site with ads and partner content tailored to your interests, and to allow us to measure the effectiveness of our service.

To learn more, review our Cookie Policy, Privacy Notice and Terms of Use.

clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Crucial Update

Five Years of Kate Middleton and Prince William Looking Like Beautifully Regal Statues, In Honor of Their Wood Anniversary

Photo: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

Prince William and Kate Middleton, professional married couple, are celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary today. Hooray! But unlike most newlyweds, who get to experience the joy of annoying everyone with unabashed PDA, Will and Kate are burdened by the fact that not only are they royals, but they're British royals, and are therefore legally required to act as though they are merely close business acquaintances.

As tradition goes, the fifth wedding anniversary typically means a gift involving wood (if it sounds lame, for context, you can't expect diamonds until your 60th). In honor of their five years as married folk, here are 15 times Will and Kate looked like the beautiful wooden statues the British monarchy demands they be.

Here they are looking like wooden statues on their recent royal visit to India:

Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Here they are as wooden statues (with perfectly identical facial expressions, no less) in Australia in 2014:

Photo: Stefan Postles/Getty Images

Just three wooden statues, chillin' on a beach in Australia:

Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Here they are, being particularly wooden in September of 2012:

Photo: Samir Hussein/Getty Images

And again in Scotland that year:

Photo: WPA Pool/Getty Images

It doesn't matter whether they're attending a polo match:

Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Or at your average royal reception:

Photo: WPA Pool/Getty Images

Or whether they're in Japan:

Photo: Jun Sato/Getty Images

(Kidding! Those are actual wax figures. But hard to tell, right?) Or whether they're in Copenhagen:

Photo: Samir Hussein/Getty Images

Or at the London Olympics:

Photo: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Or at a military event:

Photo: Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

Or at Canada Day:

Photo: Samir Hussein/Getty Images

Or on St. Patrick's Day:

Photo: WPA Pool/Getty Images

Or in Ottawa:

Photo: Samir Hussein/Getty Images

They will always, always serve their country by being the most beautiful, most fashionably dressed wooden statues in the world. 

Photo: WPA Pool/Getty Images

Will and Kate, we're sorry you can't act like a normal married couple, but in honor of your sacrifice, here's the one time you broke character in the excitement of British cyclist Chris Hoy winning gold in the London Olympics:

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Just don't let it happen again.