Burberry Is Here to Remind You That You're Having Insufficiently Sexy Sex

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Do you have the sneaking suspicion that you're not having sexy enough sex? That whatever you're doing in your off-hours isn't as well-lit, or smoothly choreographed, or perfectly soundtracked as it could be?

We regret to inform you that you're absolutely correct.

If you're interested in seeing how sex should be done, please tune in to Burberry's campaign video for its new fragrance, "Mr. Burberry," released Tuesday. Set to Benjamin Clemente's heavy, moody song "I Won't Complain" and directed by the Oscar winner Steve McQueen, it is three full minutes of undulating moonlit curtains, dress unzipping, and toothbrushing.

There is a shot of a dark, Burberry khaki-toned hallway, which is very sexy. There is a fancy bathtub. It appears to be the size of a small pond, or a kiddie pool for wealthy children. Even if there weren't cavorting nudes in the frame, the bathtub alone would be very sexy.

If you can hire McQueen to direct the sex that you are having, we would recommend it. Otherwise, what even is the point?