Cookie banner

This site uses cookies. Select "Block all non-essential cookies" to only allow cookies necessary to display content and enable core site features. Select "Accept all cookies" to also personalize your experience on the site with ads and partner content tailored to your interests, and to allow us to measure the effectiveness of our service.

To learn more, review our Cookie Policy, Privacy Notice and Terms of Use.

clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Crucial Update

Alternative Headlines for This Story About My Thong Bikini

New, 1 comment
Photo: John Foxx/Getty Images

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

This past February, I went to a friend's wedding in Brazil. She made me (read: encouraged me in congenial manner) buy a thong bikini. I wrote way, way too much about how it made me feel. Below are the essay's alternative heds, which did not make the cut for reasons:

My Thong Song

My Thong Song (Like My Swan Song But With 100% More Butts)

Another Navel Gazing Bikini Story

A Thong Day's Journey Into Night

Panic at the Butt Beach Party

Literally Airing Out My Grievances. What I'm Saying Is I'm Wearing a Thong, People.

Sorry, Did Someone Ask for 1500 Words About My Butt?

Butt, Anyway

Cheek to Cheek: A Long Story About a Thong

The Unbearable Lightness of Being in a Thong Bikini

Our Butts, Ourselves

Same Old Thong and Dance

The Thong and Short of It

Butt Stuff But Not That Kind of Butt Stuff