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I Tried On Rihanna’s $4,000 9-to-5 Manolo Blahnik Boots

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The weather in New York has been nothing short of depressing this week, and as someone who's very influenced by gloomy, rainy days, this has been a real drag. My goal today was to be unaffected by dark clouds, dumb men, and people on the subway, but all these things found a way to irk me before I even made it to work.

But you know what? Everything turned around when I went to the Manolo Blahnik store to try on the Rihanna capsule collection. What was supposed to be a Facebook Live video of the expected melee turned into a pretty wacky experience: I tried on the 9-to-5 boot — $4,000 denim chaps, basically, with a stiletto on the bottom and a rhinestone belt at the top — in a practically-empty store.

The boots themselves are actually impossible, but I love them anyway. It was a two-person job to get inside them; a sales associate had to zip me up from the back, but hit a snag in the middle of my thigh. They're really, really tight. Then there's a the belt that needs to be connected to each leg and fastened in the front. By time I was suited up, I was sweating. In Rihanna's boots!

I've become the go-to Rih reporter at Racked, and I joke a lot that I meditate on our holy bad gal daily. I'm half kidding about this. Celebrity is not a world that's ever interested me, but I genuinely love Rihanna because she truly does not care AT ALL what anyone thinks about her. She's the sexiest person on the planet because she just does not have time for your bullshit. This is how I want to feel every day.

Eventually I was asked to "please take them off now" because all I was doing was Snapchatting myself, but another woman who was there with me was actually going to buy them. Even though she was probably going to have to add extra denim to the thigh because they're that tight.

When I first started at Racked I probably would have burst into tears if someone at Manolo asked me to please remove their expensive shoes from my poor body. But would Rihanna cry?! She sure wouldn't! I asked the sales associate to help me unzip (getting out, thank god, is easier than getting in) and immediately put on "Sex With Me" in the Uber. And instead of cancelling the date I have tonight because I was feeling grumpy this morning, I texted him to let him know I'd be about an hour late, because I just spent the entire morning playing pretend at Manolo.