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Following the news of her engagement to Rob Kardashian and subsequent pregnancy, Blac Chyna has trademarked her soon-to-be name, Angela Renee Kardashian. TMZ reports that Blac Chyna (current real name: Angela Renee White), has filed legal documentation laying claim to her Kardashian name, which she will use to market "personal appearances, conducting parties, and entertainment services."
What kinds of services, specifically? Who's to say! This is America in 2016, and celebrities can trademark anything — an album title, a fashion brand, or even the name that isn't even legally theirs yet.
Though it's too early to know precisely the products on which the name Angela Kardashian name will be slapped, here are a few preliminary ideas:
- A Kardashian-themed update to her existing eyelash line, Lashed By Blac Chyna, called KarLASHian
- The requisite celebrity marriage advice book, Kan You Believe I'm a Kardashian Now? A Step-by-Stop Plan to Marrying Into America's Royal Family and Then Trademarking Your New Name
- The requisite celebrity parenting advice book, The K-to-Z Guide to Raising Your Kids Like a Kardashian
- The requisite celebrity cookbook, Kooking with the Kardashians
- The requisite celebrity tell-all autobiography, Kan I Live? Keeping Up with What 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Konveniently Left Out — Specifically, Me, Angela Renee Kardashian
- The requisite celebrity talk show, Angela's Korner
- A line of chokers — because why not milk 'em while they're still a thing — called Khokers, but still pronounced "chokers"
- A line of snapback hats — Blac Chyna loves a snapback — called Kardashian Kaps
- Thong diapers for babies (name irrelevant)
- Thong Depends® for the elderly
- A used auto shop called "Cardashian"
You're welcome in advance, Ang.