Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
From "pull my finger" quips to the world's worst puns, everyone loves-slash-hates a good dad joke.
Growing up, my dad always had an embarrassing, not-at-all funny joke up his sleeve, which he loved to deploy as soon as my friends came over, or just before I left on a date, or some other situation that mortified my teenage self.
And not much has changed. Scanning the card options at my local Duane Reade in preparation for Father's Day, I realized the only jokes as eye roll-inducing as my father's (don't worry dad, I still love you) are the sorry attempts at humor in the greeting card aisle.
So why not seize the opportunity to give dads a taste of their own bad medicine? We've rounded up 13 of the worst joke offenders, most of which also have the benefit of looking pretty cute.
Because the more terrible the joke, the better the card.
Despite the pun, this one is actually kind of charming. Tay Ham card, $5
When in doubt, go with a terrible pun. Mud Splash Studios card, $4.50
For the dad who loves Star Wars as much as he loves corny jokes. Cheerful Geek card, $4
We wouldn't normally go there, but you can always count on dad for an embarrassing fart joke. Turtle Soup card, $4
New Balance. Get it? WNK card, $5
This one might be the worst. Wonton in a Million card, $3.50
Definitely stretching it with the "yorchid," which somehow makes this card better. Turtle Soup card, $4
Corny, but true. Tay Ham card, $5
Turns out there are several of "Farter's Day" options. Mud Splash Studios card, $4.50
Just in case your dad is Kanye. WNK card, $5
At least they didn't say "farter's." Butter Together card, $4.50
Food puns are a dad specialty. Lanier Digital card , $3.50
This card really let's you ham it up. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) Becka Griffin card, $4.50
So. Corny. This one is definitely the worst. Crafted Van card, $4