Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Women are bombarded with all manner of unnecessary cleansers, and today, in a small move for genital shaming parity, the internet is alive with chatter about a new product for men, called Nadkins. Before I say a word about them, please watch this informative video, which is NSFW due to the fact that it features dancing testicles:
"Clean balls are happy balls!" is the message here. It's a message that is decidedly different from the ads we see for women's genital cleaning products, which usually feature flowers and butterflies and women speaking in hushed tones about their embarrassing ladyparts. Ahem.
Nadkins are essentially baby wipes marketed to a man. According to a release, Nadkins (get it now?) founder Joe Caccamo (is this really his name?) recognized "a severe need in the marketplace for a top-of-the-line men's grooming product for 'down there.'" He said, "Let's face it, when a man is uncomfortable down there, he is generally uncomfortable all over, making for a miserable day. We aim to solve this problem by bringing Nadkins to the masses."
The ingredient list reads like something you'd find in a top-of-the-line face cream. The wipes contain aloe vera, allantoin, vitamin E, colloidal oatmeal, menthyl lactate (cooling and tingly!), and grapefruit essence, because nothing is more refreshing than a citrus top note. They will be sold in "an elegant 10-pack cigarette-style box" for $12.50 or in a subscription for $11.50 for a 10-pack box or $30 for three boxes.
I asked some actual, real men how they felt about this product. Here's what they had to say.
"Seems silly. I think you need to worry about further back issues, not nads. And that product already exists."
"FUCK YES!!!! But don't need it to be specific to men. I prefer baby [wipes.]"
"There was a Shark Tank about this once. I don't use 'em regularly but if they happened to be at the office restroom or at home, I probably would more often."
"I've perfected the art of self-cleaning, but I can understand why your typical non-European male may find this appealing. How about this for a concept store: Bro-de-ga, where dudes can hang out, eat grilled cheese, and freshen their perinea? No way the specialty gendered product start-up bubble is gonna burst anytime soon."
It should be noted that man wipes already exist, though they are marketed for that "further back" area. First, there are Dude Wipes, the product that first made an appearance on "Shark Tank." Tagline: "For every awesome, stanky and highly questionable situation." (The company also has ambASSadors.) Then there are Dollar Shave Club's One Wipe Charlies: "Enjoy the soft, clean, manly way to wipe."
Not to put a damper on all this, but last year the New York Times wrote that wipes, which don't break down the way toilet paper does, were clogging up sewers and were an environmental nuisance.
So ask your conscience, guys: Swamp crotch or the environment?