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Right now, the front page of Page Six’s website features a post labeled "EXCLUSIVE" and entitled "Why You’ll Never See Blake Shelton With His Shirt Off." Why, indeed? Because Blake Shelton is a never-nude.
According to a source, on the set of The Voice, "he always keeps his dressing room closed. At photo shoots, he will not change on set. He goes back to his dressing room whenever he needs to take his clothes off."
The piece also references the photos that surfaced earlier this week of Blake and Gwen Stefani hanging out in a pool, in which he can be seen wearing a maroon T-shirt over his swim trunks. The source continues, "He is not in bad shape. He’s just so shy about showing off his body."
Why this information is considered newsworthy of a) being touted as "exclusive" and b) located squarely on the front page of a celebrity gossip website is irrelevant. What’s important is that if this story is indeed true, Blake Shelton can now finally join Tobias Fünke and the "literally dozens" of other never-nudes, free to wear jean shorts in the shower in peace.