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Some Good Outfits to Wear to Beyonce's Formation 2016 Tour

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Easy: you've snatched up a pair of Formation tickets with your sticky little pork sausage patty hands. Now here comes the hard part: looking flawless (lolol) for The Kween. With these curated looks, it'll be more like tell 'em boy "HI."

  • A Vetements tracksuit with the price tag still on it.

  • Miss Tina by Tina Knowles shimmery shirt, size small, in good condition, on eBay for $12.95, with free shipping, paired with a leather short.

  • A bootleg I Twirl on Them Haters noodie with a pair of day-of-the-week underwear with yesterday's date on them.

  • Solange's C/MEO for Saint Heron periwinkle dress, paired with Converse to signify to the world, like Kristen Stewart and Hailee Steinfield, that you're just a little bit alt.

  • A little black dress with this Jessica Simpson nude pump named after the Obama daughter who interned on Girls.

  • A "Survivor"-era Destiny's Child camouflage dress. Your sister, who's going to the concert with you, will keep making invisibility jokes like, "Whoah, how are your head and torso just floating in the air like that?"

  • A cut-out dress, but without your immediate knowledge or consent, a family of chipmunks have used the opening in the fabric and your warm flesh to burrow in. You call Animal Control, but they say, "Ma'am, there's nothing we can do for you." You ultimately take in the chipmunks as your own, start a popular Instagram account, and eventually score a docu-series deal.

  • An old time wool bathing suit you found in your great aunt's haunted attic after her inevitable but more-than-a-little-suspicious death, but with a small slit cut using mustache scissors in the neckline to signify that you're thoroughly modern.

  • That dress Kim Kardashian wore on Scott Disick's birthday, but with a little balsamic vinaigrette from lunch on the bodice.

  • A statement tee. And I mean this statement.

  • A silk sleep mask as a headband, a white tee, and an architecturally fussy skirt.

  • A mini-dress made of hair from the drain so that you can proudly show off your new back-of-the-calf THIS IS WHAT A FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE tattoo, but you realize a few hours later that you shouldn't have used a Groupon because the artist spelled it FEMBLIMIST. You're really going to kick yourself for that one.

  • An ACE bandage, keeping your bloodied foot from the too-new, too-stiff Jessica Simpson heels.

  • A painstakingly contoured face, but using purple eyeshadow.

  • A security guard outfit in a half-baked plan to get backstage and close to Blue Ivy, but when the package comes from Amazon, it's this polyester sexy security guard Halloween costume. You try it on anyway and find that it looks kinda good. You wear it, because you're feelin' yourself.