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‘The Bachelorette’ 2016 Episode 3: Literally Everyone Was Shirtless

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We're two and a half episodes deep into the most Chad-heavy season of The Bachelorette in history — two and a half, because instead of the usual two-hour episode, ABC is airing two two-hour episodes this week, the second of which will air tonight. That means this week's episode is technically four hours long, or roughly the length of one-and-a-quarter Lord of the Rings films.

Anyway, if last night is any indication, these four hours should be among the most shirtless to ever air on TV. The episode opened with — who else — Chad, lifting weights with "Canadian" (actual job title) Daniel. Later, Daniel compares Chad to Hitler. Total number of shirts? Zero:

Evan is also there, for some reason, doing squats (?) nearby. Evan hates Chad, but Evan and Chad both hate shirts:

There's another person in the background, probably named Jake or something, also not wearing a shirt:

Which is a coincidence, because the first one-on-one date of the episode involves zero shirts, too! JoJo takes Chase to do some sexy shirtless yoga, and it is ... not sexy:

Reminder: We are literally 10 minutes into this episode, and the shirtless contestant count is holding steady at five. After 20 minutes of boring non-shirtlessness, however, Chad rips Evan's shirt after Evan made fun of his "roid rage" in front of JoJo. Does it count as shirtlessness if most of the shirt is ripped? Sure!

Later, we're treated to a rare scene between Daniel and Chad, but only Daniel is shirtless. Incredible:

Spoke too soon! Phew, that was a close one.

Evan tells Chris Harrison about the whole shirt-ripping incident, after which Chris Harrison has a Serious Chat with Chad. Chad, clearly, is dressed for the occasion:

And sometime while we weren't paying close attention, Alex suddenly became shirtless too!

Chase is now also shirtless, for the second time this episode!

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ALL SHIRTLESS!

Aaaand that's all the shirtlessness we get in Part One of this week's episodes.

Total shirtless contestant count? Fifteen, plus one ripped shirt. That's a lot of shirtlessness. Stay tuned for what is certain to be much, much more shirtlessness (plus shirtless fighting!) tonight.

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