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14 Etsy Buys to Fool People Into Thinking You’ve Seen ‘Hamilton’

Photo: Etsy

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You may have already thrown away your shot at seeing playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda star as the titular character in Hamilton (he'll retire from the show next month, and good luck getting tickets before then). But there's still plenty of time to convince everyone else you've seen the much buzzed-about musical on Broadway, simply by owning a large amount of items that suggest you have.

Think about it: if you walked into someone's home and saw a painstakingly handmade cross-stitch of the phrase "History has its eyes on you," or a tiny felt version of the Marquis de Lafayette sitting on a bookshelf, wouldn't you assume their owner had bothered to see the show that inspired them? Exactly.

Below, a smattering of Hamilton-themed clothing, jewelry, and tchotchkes you can buy on Etsy right now to convince everyone — and more importantly, yourself — that you, too, were in the room where it happened.

A solid Nike/Hamilton cross-reference

"Just You Wait" T-shirt, $20

Tiny embroidered versions of the cast

"History has its eyes on you" cross-stitch, $65

Aaron Burr-approved undies

"Your Obedient Servant" underpants, $11

An inspirational poster

"There's a Million Things I Haven't Done" poster print, $10

A shirt bearing one of King George's more obscure quotes

"Awesome, Wow" King George T-shirt, $20

An enamel pin, because come on, it's 2016

Hamilton enamel pin, $10

And another one for good measure!

"Schuyler Sisters" enamel pins, $12 each

A key chain with a helpful reminder

"Rise Up" necklace, $20

A T-shirt that makes sense even outside the context of Hamilton

"Young, Scrappy and Hungry" T-shirt, $18

A mug with a murderer's face on it

"Aaron Burr, Sir" mug, $10

A poster that wards off idiots

"Looking for a Mind at Work" print, $15

Hamilton lyrics to stick all over everything

Hamilton lyrics stickers, $5

A pin that lets everyone know whose side of this whole Hamilton vs. Burr thing you're on

"Burr Shot First" pin ,$1.50

And finally, an adorable felt Lafayette

Lafayette doll, $22

Total cost? Still less than tickets to Hamilton.