Khloé Kardashian, Inexplicably, Is Trying to Revive Denim Pedal Pushers

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It’s never not a headline-making week for the Kardashian family — but somehow, while all of us were laser-focused on the drama unfolding between Kim, Kanye, and Taylor Swift, we missed the beginning of another scandal: Khloé Kardashian’s sudden, inexplicable, highly questionable endorsement of denim pedal pushers, as demonstrated yesterday:

Photo: Fame Flynet

Not familiar with the pedal pusher? Technically neither shorts nor pants, these "shants," so to speak, typically end just below the kneecap. Unlike their equally divisive sister style the Bermuda short, pedal pushers are easily identified by their snug fit (all the better to keep them away from a bicycle’s spinning — you guessed it — pedals) and are decidedly shorter than capri pants. They first became popular in the 1950s, and later experienced an unfortunate renaissance in the mid-aughts, during which tweens and teens often teamed them with Abercrombie & Fitch polo shirts and Rocket Dog platform flip-flops.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: If other 2000s-era fads like Juicy Couture tracksuits and going-out tops are currently enjoying a comeback, why not denim pedal pushers, too? Simply put, it’s because these "shants" doesn’t look good on anyone. Seriously, anyone. Not on model-esque Oscar nominees:

Photo: David Westing/Getty Images

Not on reality stars-turned-fashion designers:

Photo: Scott Gries/Getty Images

Not on someone capable of pulling off — and even making us want to buy — $4,000 denim chaps:

Photo: Evan Agostini/Getty Images for Tempo

Not on literal royalty:

Photo: Carlos R. Alvarez/WireImage

Not even on American royalty:

Photo: Jason Kempin/FilmMagic

Of course, longtime Kardashian family stylist Monica Rose has a history of turning everything her clients wear into top-selling trends, and also of refusing to let said trends die. Which means that when it comes to stopping a possible pedal pusher revival, the odds are stacked against us.

America, it’s time to fight back. Are we going to allow these curiously-long cutoffs — nay, these oddly-abbreviated skinny jeans — to share space in our closets alongside our bodysuits and thigh-high boots? Will we gamely pair them with our chokers?

No. We shan’t(s).

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Watch: What a Denim Addiction Looks Like