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Khloé Kardashian, Inexplicably, Is Trying to Revive Denim Pedal Pushers

Khloé Kardashian wearing denim pedal pushers. Photo: Fame Flynet

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It’s never not a headline-making week for the Kardashian family — but somehow, while all of us were laser-focused on the drama unfolding between Kim, Kanye, and Taylor Swift, we missed the beginning of another scandal: Khloé Kardashian’s sudden, inexplicable, highly questionable endorsement of denim pedal pushers, as demonstrated yesterday:

Khloé Kardashian wearing denim pedal pushers. Photo: Fame Flynet

Not familiar with the pedal pusher? Technically neither shorts nor pants, these "shants," so to speak, typically end just below the kneecap. Unlike their equally divisive sister style the Bermuda short, pedal pushers are easily identified by their snug fit (all the better to keep them away from a bicycle’s spinning — you guessed it — pedals) and are decidedly shorter than capri pants. They first became popular in the 1950s, and later experienced an unfortunate renaissance in the mid-aughts, during which tweens and teens often teamed them with Abercrombie & Fitch polo shirts and Rocket Dog platform flip-flops.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: If other 2000s-era fads like Juicy Couture tracksuits and going-out tops are currently enjoying a comeback, why not denim pedal pushers, too? Simply put, it’s because these "shants" doesn’t look good on anyone. Seriously, anyone. Not on model-esque Oscar nominees:

Keira Knightley wearing denim pedal pushers in 2005.
Keira Knightley in 2005.
Photo: David Westing/Getty Images

Not on reality stars-turned-fashion designers:

Lauren Conrad wearing denim pedal pushers in 2005.
Lauren Conrad in 2005.
Photo: Scott Gries/Getty Images

Not on someone capable of pulling off — and even making us want to buy$4,000 denim chaps:

Rihanna wearing denim pedal pushers in 2005.
Rihanna in 2005.
Photo: Evan Agostini/Getty Images for Tempo

Not on literal royalty:

Princess Letizia of Spain wearing denim pedal pushers in 2010.
Princess Letizia of Spain in 2010.
Photo: Carlos R. Alvarez/WireImage

Not even on American royalty:

Beyoncé wearing denim pedal pushers in 2006.
Beyoncé in 2006.
Photo: Jason Kempin/FilmMagic

Of course, longtime Kardashian family stylist Monica Rose has a history of turning everything her clients wear into top-selling trends, and also of refusing to let said trends die. Which means that when it comes to stopping a possible pedal pusher revival, the odds are stacked against us.

America, it’s time to fight back. Are we going to allow these curiously-long cutoffs — nay, these oddly-abbreviated skinny jeans — to share space in our closets alongside our bodysuits and thigh-high boots? Will we gamely pair them with our chokers?

No. We shan’t(s).

Watch: What a Denim Addiction Looks Like