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You probably thought we’d closed the book on chokers. That the ‘90s throwback was so omnipresent, so utterly ubiquitous throughout the whole of 2016 that we’d clearly hit peak choker by year’s end. That if nothing else, the choker had heaved its final death rattle when Matt Lauer modeled one on national television last week.
But you would be wrong. Because like pumpkin spice lattes, “festival style,” and Kidz Bop, the choker is a phenomenon that refuses to die. In fact, it seems that our collective scorn only makes it stronger — because at this point, the choker is full-on trolling us.
How else would you explain this $1,700 (no, that’s not a typo) version I found on Neiman Marcus’s site, which is literally just a string of velvet with a gold clasp attached?
Or Bartoli’s satin iteration, priced at $115?
Serenity’s $65 Mystic Ribbon Choker feels like a comparative bargain, until you realize it doesn’t even have a closure:
This “choker” from Sparkling Sage is currently marked down from $54 to $24.99 (I wonder why...?):
And here’s a $65 Elizabeth and James option, essentially just a leather shoelace:
Then there’s the Rumi Neely-designed brand Are You Am I, perhaps the worst offender of the bunch. Check out this
choker piece of shiny silk that’s inexplicably priced at $59:
Satin not your style? Fret not — the brand also sells 29 inches of “genuine leather cord” for $49:
So what is the right amount to spend on this accessory that’s clearly more than a one-season wonder, but hasn’t yet hit classic status?