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Is This Petco Dog Collar a ‘New Wardrobe Essential’?

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Vogue thinks so.

German Shepard wearing silver dog collar Photo: Lambert/Getty Images

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What should you buy for 2017? Last night, Vogue’s website published a story titled “10 New Wardrobe Essentials You Never Knew You Needed” and included among the “essential” items stirrup leggings (?), a pair of $570 sweatpants (??), and a $1,045 tie-dyed guitar strap by Valentino (???).

But by far the most head-scratching inclusion was the $4 Chain Control Dog Collar from Petco pictured below, which was featured sans styling suggestions or any sort of explanation, really:

Petco’s $4 chain control collar for dogs Photo: Vogue

Would one wear this as an S&M-style necklace? A headband? A belt? (Hey, it worked in the 80s.) It’s anyone’s guess!

“Trends aren’t nearly as seductive as they used to be, so most of us are investing in timeless essentials we can wear nonstop, all year round instead,” Vogue notes. “As such, the definition of ‘essentials’ has changed, too.”

Call me crazy, but unless you are literally a dog, I cannot imagine a scenario in which this chain collar is a timeless essential you would wear nonstop. But hey, at least it’s affordable.