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Today, Russian designer Gosha Rubchinskiy showed his fall 2017 collection, and one of the models he cast is very clearly Holden Caulfield, the protagonist of J.D. Salinger’s classic book The Catcher in the Rye. Is this a thing?
If you really want to know if being a Russian Holden Caulfield is a thing, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I am, and where I got this lousy outfit, and what designer came up with this goddamn outfit, and all that kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
Who are you anyway? Some sort of Cold War sleeper agent who is looking for information? All you need to know is that someone dressed me up in this phony outfit and I just didn’t want to do it even though he’s a big designer, really, he is. Gosha Rubchinskiy, you’ve probably heard of him. Anyway, the big designers are the ones who are really sort of the nicest about letting you mess with them. Open to new ideas, but sometimes this means they get jerked around. But what I’m trying to say is that Gosha was kind of a swell guy and let me wear my favorite hunting cap down the runway just ‘cause I didn’t want to go without it.
And he was real nice and all when I came back and he wasn’t mean or anything but he was kind of rah-rahing all the guys as they came back. He could be phony like that. Even though I was excited when Gosha first asked me to be in the show. I ran, practically sprinted, across Red Square and pretty much ran out of breath to tell my parents. My mom and dad didn’t think much of it, though. I kept going to these galleries and looking at the outfits that have been preserved and just sit there all day. I just thought it was real nice.
This is after my parents were down on my Gosha thing. I just needed to get away and be by myself. I stayed in a hotel, some swanky phony joint, and I did something. I don’t even wanna say it, just know I was sick to my stomach. But the girls come to my room and I’m already so nervous and first thing they ask, you wouldn’t believe it, is, “So, you want us to pee on the bed like the last guy?”
NO, this is not a thing. How could this be a thing? It’s way too ridiculous to be a thing.