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If Alessandro Sartori’s first collection back as the head designer of Ermenegildo Zegna goes poorly, he'll be fine, because his Z Zegna show had all the outfits and extras you’d need to make a Swiss Alps-set remake of Ocean’s Eleven. Or, to actually actually rob a wealthy ski lodge owner! Is this a thing?
Picture this: You’re minding your own business, commuting to work, and you see a poster for Ocean’s Eleven. Except the ocean is frozen and the 11 is a number that’s two skis and the whole thing is in French. It’s a Swiss Alps remake of Ocean’s Eleven.
Because there’s this Z Zegna collection that was just so compelling — featuring guys already in full costume for it — and they had to be put to good use. This man above is clearly the bomb expert or lockpick who always keeps his backpack handy and plays a small but crucial role. There’s a shocking dearth of name-brand Swiss actors (Google it), but you could easily pull from their Nordic brethren to make for an amazing, all-star cast. Mads Mikkelsen, obviously, plays the group leader of a ragtag bunch of criminals/acomplished skiers attempting to rob Spitzhorn Hotel in Gstadd, which The Telegraph once described as "the home and playground of authors, artists, silver-screen stars and James Bond."
The all-star lineup includes Viggo Mortensen, Joel Kinnaman, that scary guy from Fargo and stuff, big daddy Stellan Skarsgård, baby boy Alexander Skarsgård, Max Von Sydow (who you might know from Game of Thrones), Jamie Lannister also from Game of Thrones, that guy who looks like Pacey but wet obviously from Game of Thrones, the ghost of Greta Garbo as Carl Reiner, and Lena Olin as The Woman. It deftly mixes action and comedy — “You’ll have to take this from my cold dead hands” or “Can you believe they bought that snow job?” At the end, Mikkelsen is urged to ski from freedom in a furious finale. He’s wearing this exact Zegna ski mask and he winks toward the camera and the movie ends.
You’d see this movie!
Additional jokes provided by Meredith Haggerty