Slutty-Cozy Is the Perfect Aesthetic

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If you’re in the market for a new Look, I can recommend no better choice than slutty-cozy. (“Slozy,” if you’re looking to save time.)

Like porn, slozy is hard to define but you know it when you see it: think cleavage and big chunky cardigans, backless tops and comfy shoes. It’s that particular mashup of things that look great with things that feel great.

There are certain mainstream purveyors: Reformation, with its deepest of deep Vs and miles of stretch velvet; American Apparel (may it rest), with its knee socks and tight skirts. Also, I feel like a lot of hot girls on Instagram who have, like, wish lists in their bios are into it? But you do not need to be 5’10” or 112 pounds or a disaffected nightlife enthusiast in order to make the look yours. No, slutty-cozy, above all, is a state of mind.

Missguided Sweater Dress, $39.60

The formula is simple: First, pick a part of your body that you dig. It could be your butt or your legs or your arms, anything you wish you could just be like “Hey, world, please look right here for one second, okay thank you” about. (Personally, I’m a back kinda gal. Your back is also probably very nice.) You could even have two chosen parts, or three! That’s the beauty of slozy — it’s adjustable as needed.

Then, select an outfit that shows off your thing. Maybe a tad more than you’re used to — a lower neckline, a higher hem. It could be an old standby, like the butt-skimming dress you wore when you first made out with your work crush, or a new acquisition, like the top that is so outrageously breasty you had to text your entire group chat for assurance from the dressing room whence it came.

“But Alanna!” you are probably shouting in your brain right now, “How is this different from... normal clothes?”

Shhhhhhhh. You are right! It’s not that different! The twist, though, is that the outfit has to feel rad to YOU. It should not include undergarments that dig into your flesh, nor shoes that cause you to teeter instead of strut. It should have an element made of the softest jersey or velour or faux fur imaginable, or topped off with a flannel that’s been washed so many times it’s starting to shred, or arranged atop the comfiest sweater tights the world has ever known. If someone were to pop out from under my desk and press a cashmere crop top into my hands at this very moment, I would kiss that person on the lips.

Slutty-cozy is not really about cutting the sexiness, nor about making comfort socially palatable — I’m all in favor of going out in the most revealing or the slouchiest joint you can think of, so long as it’s what you want — but about dressing for yourself at the same time as you’re dressing for everyone else. There’s an edge of insolence to it, a drop of smugness, a sense of self-satisfaction. For me, it’s often about putting the slutty horse before the cozy cart: If I’m feeling down or unattractive or unmotivated to go out, I can stand before my closet and know that it contains a couple of foolproof outfits that will elevate me, that will do the talking for me, but also cradle me in their warm embrace.