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Not so long ago, an intrepid fashion collective sent a ripoff of an unassuming Champion sweatshirt-sweatpants combo down the runway, slapped a $1,400 price tag on it, and called it a day. This was met essentially with the five Kubler-Ross stages of fashion acceptance: shock, anger, asking yourself if you’ve suddenly been transported to an alternate universe where Champion is cool, realizing that the answer is yes, and finally, finding yourself in the unexpected position of severely thirsting for said Champion sweatshirt.
Over the past three years of its existence, Vetements has attempted to do the same for a wide array of seemingly un-fashion brands. Last year’s haute couture presentation featured collaborations with 18 of them, from Carhartt to Reebok, Kawaski Motorcycles, Eastpak Backpacks, and Juicy Couture (!).
Before you ask, “But why,” don’t. You know why. You know Vetements is half-visionary, half-troll, like everything else cool post-2016. So instead of asking “Why?” ask yourself, “What other seemingly dumb brand’s merch should I be copping before it becomes Vetements-level expensive?” Some ideas, below.
Friendly Automotive Service Families
Pep Boys Automotive Service Tires T-shirt, $15.99
Canadian Fast-Casual Coffee
Tim Hortons Hoodie, $47.68
The Place That Gives Out Dope Free Samples
Costco Beanie, $14.99
The Least-Fashion Water Brand
Aquafina FlavorSplash T-shirt, $19.99
The Enamel Pin No One Has Copped Yet
National Assoication of Retailers Lapel Pin, $7.95
Failed Nordic Cell Phone Brands
Nokia T-shirt, $15.99
‘90s Kelsey Grammar
Frasier Tank Top, $22.95
Canada’s Best Country Radio Station
CKGL Vintage Pin, $12.99
Tiny French Cars
Peugeot T-shirt, $21.90
The New Zealand Tourist Bureau
New Zealand Pride T-shirt, $10
Our Shared National Postal History
Smithsonian National Postal Museum T-shirt, $20.99
And finally, my personal favorite and the item I hope most becomes extremely fashion in seasons to come:
Quasi-Historical Dan Brown Novels
The Da Vinci Code T-shirt, $0.99