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The Golden Globes are taking place tonight, if you couldn’t hear the faint sound of Giuliana Rancic asking “Who are you wearing?” 95 times in twenty minutes. As one of the first major events of awards show season, it basically doesn’t matter, but thanks to the fact that it’s the first week of 2017, I have also decided that it is the litmus test for what fashion and beauty trends we should expect for the rest of the year. TLD;R: Get ready for the highly viral trend known as Georgia O’Keeffing, and also don’t throw out your chokers.
Neckties, but for ladies, and also made entirely of diamonds. Into it.
Elaborate Prom Updos
Surprise! It will be 1996 again, and everyone will be wearing updos that require you to sit perfectly still in a chair for 12 hours. Which is far superior than the 2016 trend of spending 12 hours trying to achieve no makeup-makeup.
To blend in when they take over the world by midsummer.
Tupperware will soon seem tragically 2016, as dresses will have evolved to contain grapes.
Chokers, But Like, In a Totally New, 2017 Way
Yeah, uh-huh, I know chokers were already a trend in 2016, but see this? This is a totally new kind of choker trend. Get it? 2017 will be so different you guys!!!!
Using Your Clothing As a Way to Subtly Hint That You Would Like This Award, Please
Hello, yes, it is I, Natalie Portman dressed normally, whom you may know from the recent film Jackie, in which I play Jackie, whom I am not at all channeling with this dress and hair.