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While we here at Racked do our best to ensure that everyone gets the gifts they want for the holidays, we acknowledge that this is not always the case. So we asked our email subscribers and audience members at our recent live show for their tales of gifting woe both both given and received — the more bizarre, the better. They did not disappoint!
“A few years ago I went to my (then) boyfriend’s parents house for Christmas. We had been together for two years at that point, so I wasn’t some stranger to the family. His mom gave me gift-wrapped jumbo packs of toilet paper and paper towels. Generic brand. One-ply.
I pretended to be grateful, but honestly, there’s no hiding the disappointment and disgust when you unwrap a gift of toilet paper. It was all donated to a homeless shelter.
Not surprisingly, I dumped that guy not long after. Partly because I would never marry into that family.” —Jennifer
”A yo-yo (I do not yo-yo).” —Tiffany
“My husband and I received a used (probably) Roomba as a wedding gift. We opened it up and it was caked in dirt, and the entire bottom was brown from cleaning something (looked like it had been used outdoors). We were grossed out!!” —Elisa
“Half of a dead squirrel named Murray.” —Kyle (nb: upon further enquiry, it was revealed that this gift was given by the respondent, not received, which is somehow even better.)
“About 10 years ago, my devout Southern Baptist aunt sent me a pink mesh G-string for Christmas. She sent her gifts through the mail since we wouldn’t be together on Christmas, so the rest of my family had a really good laugh at my expense. I have never seen my mom laugh so hard.
The other gift that accompanied it was a clock emblazoned with the phrase ‘As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.’ Kind of an odd combo of mixed messages! When we spoke on the phone on Christmas Day, my aunt asked me ‘if the G-string fit.’ I stuttered that I had not tried it on yet. She has not sent any similarly racy gifts since.” —Alison
“Two Christmases ago, all the women in our family (we have four daughters) received Freshettes, the female pee tubes for women who do stuff outdoors. While I am outdoorsy and often envious of my husband’s outdoor plumbing, it just never occurs to me to drag it out of the closet to take along. Plus, then I’d have to pack a pee-smellin’ thang in my backpack or bikepack, which does seem kinda gross. I’m still wondering what my 86-year-old mom did with hers, but bless my husband’s heart for thinking of our comfort and cleanliness, and the frequent grossness of outhouses in our forest hangouts.” —Jeanna