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If you woke up in February 2017, looked around, and thought to yourself, “This is really not what I would have preferred things to be like,” you’re not alone, friend. And unfortunately, this morning wrought another thing that nobody asked for: Ansel Elgort, the 22-year-old star of Paper Towns, has released a song that is good.
Titled “Thief,” the video centers around Elgort (formerly DJ Ansølo) and his real-life girlfriend, ballerina Violetta Komyshan. But if you thought “Thief” would be your standard fare, Zayn-and-Gigi-in-“Pillowtalk” video, hoo boy, would you be making some gross generalizations (well, besides the fact that they both take place in rooms with a surprising amount of pink strobe lights and a lot of leather).
What “Thief” has that no other music video has is this: a black turtleneck looking at itself in a mirror. An up-close view of Ansel Elgort’s nostrils. An honestly really cute pink silk bathrobe paired with equally cute ivory granny panties. Confirmation of the fact that Ansel Elgort wears boxer briefs (of course he does). Chokers! Lace ones! Ansel Elgort sexily wiping his lip. Usher-esque side-moonwalking. A leather ensemble with one too many tassels. Off-beat lip-syncing. And most of all, the bizarre feeling of being mildly sexually attracted to Ansel Elgort.
I highly recommend you watch it at least two and a half times before making a judgment call.