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I Kind of Hate That I Want This Bag

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And other things from the Ban.do website I am semi-ashamed to enjoy.

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Why.
Photo: Ban.do

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This bag came out today, and I want it. It’s red and shaped like a circle and has two fucking pom-poms on it that the brand describes as “like a personal cheerleader!” It looks like something you would give a doll as a prop.

And now I hate myself.

Until today, I had never heard of the brand Ban.do before, but a Twitter link to Hello Giggles brought me here, staring at a photo of the goddamn pom-pom bag. However, according to my far-more-informed coworkers, Ban.do is a thing that people know. Here are the ways it was described to me:

“It’s sort of brunchcore but in a more permissible way?? Maybe???”

“It’s like ‘I LIKE NAPS AND NETFLIX AND MY OTHER BOYFRIEND IS A NACHO.’”

“Like Urban Outfittersy but more cute.”

“Infantilizing yet #relatable.”

“Part of me thinks the #slogans are made up by a room full of old white men trying to sound like a 13-year-old girl.”

“It makes me feel uncomfortably pandered to.”

See? You get it.

Anyway, I still want this bag. And yet it turns out despite the above, most Racked employees also secretly long for a certain Ban.do item. Here are some of them:

Alanna: The “Work It Out” Exercise Mat

Meredith: The “Get It Together” Backpack

Julia: The Silver Light Up Sneakers

Cory: The Pastel Raincoat

Elana: The “Will You Accept This Rose?” iPhone Case

But seriously, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much should I hate myself? Also, should I buy the bag?