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Existential Questions I Have for This ‘Extreme Crop Top’

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Excuse me, Urban Outfitters, but how very dare you?

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Urban Outfitters Extreme Crop Top Out From Under Extreme Tank Top Shrug, $16 (literally imagine explaining any of those words to a cave person).

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  1. Why?
  2. Huh?
  3. HmmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmm………..?
  4. Does Urban Outfitters know what “shrug” means?
  5. What about “crop?”
  6. What about “tank top?”
  7. Why is it styled with an underwire bra; don’t bralettes exist?
  8. How do you move your arms?
  9. Under what possible circumstances would you wear this?
  10. Sorry, addendum: Under what possible circumstances, other than being Ciara, would you wear this?
  11. Is $16 a reasonable price for this? Would any dollars be a reasonable price for this?
  12. Why does the model look so smug?
  13. What does this combination of words, culled from the product description, even mean: “the coolest layered look featuring a crop neck?”
  14. Where’s the line here? Like, at what point does an “extreme crop” become so extremely cropped that it just…disappears? Is all air an extreme crop? Are we the extreme crop???
  15. HOW IN THE SWEET MOTHER OF BRANDY MELVILLE CAN A NECK BE CROPPED?
  16. What did we do to deserve this?
  17. Update: Where did it go?